Jude

I have written you a hundred letters in my head. Somehow the days get past me before I realize they are gone. Such is life.

You are a joy. Purely.

I can't contain my love for you.

I remember thinking at 3 months, I wish he could stay three months forever.

And I said it again at 4.

Somehow for whatever reason, God ignored my plea. And now you are 5 months, a boy who rolls, and who can reach out and grab toys in front of you. And I wish I could go back to just a few more days of you being 3 or 4 months.

I only wish that because I am selfish.

I don't ever want to hold you back from experiencing the world around you. And now that you are growing older I see you get to know it.

It's a wonderful world for you Jude. Filled with Lollipops, big grass fields that go on forever, sunshine that can warm up your soul, magical fireflies, and planes that soar through the sky. It's filled with laughter and love and miracles. It's filled with tiny birds, and caramel apples, big red barns and endless possibilities.
I hope you never for a moment feel that you are unloved, because that wouldn't be possible.
I see your daddy in you. Which makes me incredibly happy because I imagine a lifetime of people telling you that you resemble him. And what an awesome man to be compared to.

You are still just the most pleasant person to be around. I have tried to rack my brain for things that bother you and the only one I can come up with is car rides. You dislike car rides, that is all. How easy going you are, if you keep this up people will start comparing you to your father in more than just your looks.

Jude August, oh I adore you. My life has become infinitely better with you in it.