How would it feel to sit for two weeks with that burden weighing down on you? I can not imagine what he feels like. What his wife and his two young daughters feel like.
At times it is at the forefront of my thoughts shadowing everything I think and do with the weary thought of my brother has cancer. And then at other times it is pushed back to a hidden room in my head and when that door opens it knocks me to my knees in sadness, hope, fear, and love.Watching my brother tell his daughters that he has cancer was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. No amount of physical pain can compare to the feeling of your heart aching while watching somebody go through something like that.I have had many talks with my brother about his cancer, and like always the man has his faith in God. He has not once mentioned himself. He is worried about putting his wife through what she already went though when she lost her father to cancer. He is worried about his daughters as teenagers if they don't have a father around.
Tim told me that while dealing with this he just keeps asking God "are you done with me? Have I finished what you wanted from me?" I have asked God a lot of questions in my life but never once have I even been close to asking him that. I can not believe that my brother is.
I know that God's will is perfect and I would never ask for anything other than that. I do not know what his plan's are for my brother, it is the hardest wait I have ever had to go through. Next week he will go into surgery and I pray with every ounce of my being that God's will is to get all of the cancer out of him and for this to be in the past. A really sad story in the past of my brother's hopefully very long life.
Jo-Ann writes:
ReplyDeleteTim is like a son to me and I pray that God keeps him around for a very long time. Stay strong.